before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
