i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Come see our sink grown plant.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
