Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
