Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize