Sponge bath it is.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
