If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
