I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
