everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We had to coat check the pizza.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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