I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
