I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
