I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
