Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
