Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
