Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
