Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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