if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
