I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
