on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
