we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
