But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
