i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
