Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
