Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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