You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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