That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
