yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
