Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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