I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
