do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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