I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
