There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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