Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
