Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
