I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
