After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
only you would photoshop your dick
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
