yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
