Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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