Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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