you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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