where does the pee come out of this thing
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
