Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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