Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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