There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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