the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
