I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
