Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
