The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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