so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
