no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
