Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
