i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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