walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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