i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
